Early Morning Rush

Coffee...check... 3 lunches made...check...head back to bed ;)... well, maybe not completely back to bed...but I may have just drank my coffee and called my sister while sitting in bed.  *happy sigh*

And then the clock struck the last hour.  Yikes!  I whizzed around like a helicopter on an adrenaline rush, mushing through my "To Do" list like the world was ending.

-Wipe counters
- Clean Oven (I had pre-cleaned it last night, I only had to wipe it out.  But wiping out an oven is not easy! rags upon rags! [insert confession: I used paper towel. From Costco. Good Deal. Saves Laundry. Etc])  
- Take Shower
- Do hair (thankfully, my students don't mind the Ping Hair Do - little kids are so obliging)
- Make own luncho
- Prepare snacks
- Upload lesson
- And sign into the lesson

Not bad for a morning!  But now we are to where the reality hits.  Due to an office error, I now have 9 hours straight of teaching/tutoring, no breaks from 10 a.m. until 7 p.m. !!!

HOW in the WORLD am I blogging????  Well, my first student has not shown up as of yet, so I decided to blog.  I should probably be writing teacher-student progress reports, or unloading the dishwasher, or perhaps even paperwork... but as she will be on in any moment.... blogging called the loudest.

Tonight, I am hoping for cordon bleu for supper, and the odds are good, because Daniel has promised to make it for supper... No Frills had a sale for cordon bleu :)  $1 per pack instead of $4.99 !  #sale  hehe

When Summer Comes

Peaceful meadows, gentle breezes
Caressing each wisp of hair
Silent grasses, waving, dancing,
Sounds of little creatures prancing
Wishful hopes, and sleepy memories
Oh, for Summer to be here!






   Today, I might be just a little guilty of wishing for past days of summer, when it seemed, we girls spent our time reading, planning tea parties, and teasing each other of prince charming.
So many dreams, so much laughter, and such good memories.

   The winter winds have not yet given up, as often happens in Southwestern Ontario.  This past weekend was cold and windy, with a touch of snow/ice. So, I took the opportunity to clean out all of my kitchen cupboards, wash and re-organize.  What a mess the dishes made! Completely worth it, and now the kitchen is sparkling.  And I am very pleased.

   Next weekend is expected to be 70 F. (Yes, warmer temperatures are forever Fahrenheit in my mind.) So, maybe I will manage to squeeze in a little suntan time while helping Rachel move.

"The Time Had Come... So Marvin Went"

When I was a little girl, around 3 years old, we had this book about 'a guy who wouldn't go.'  I couldn't read, but I had most of the book memorized!  Mom and Dad must have read it countless times to me.  The book was called Marvin K Mooney, by Dr. Seuss.  For some reason, never explained, the person telling the story (represented by a hand with a watch) wanted Marvin to leave. Marvin must have been being very annoying, because the person was so exasperated with poor Marvin.

Marvin K Mooney

I don't care how

Marvin K Mooney 

Will you please go now!

Well, the stubborn little guy didn't go, even with all the suggestions of how to go, and illustrations showing the possibility of each, Marvin stayed.  And then, at the end, Marvin went. Unceremoniously, he just up and left.  To a small child the change was startling (every time), why did Marvin go?  The only explanation given was: 

The time had come... So Marvin went.

Well, it was a cute story that illustrated to me that there was a time to go and a time to stay.  Marvin was both stubborn and compliant.  The question that was never solved was "How did Marvin know the time had come?"  

I haven't written in awhile, because I was pretty much told that no one wanted to read it.  Now, I don't give in easily, so I continued to write for awhile - besides, I wasn't writing for an audience.  I honestly don't know who reads this- if any.... blogging isn't as popular as it once was.  Next, someone told me that my writing showed that I thought I was better than others - that gave me pause.  Then, I was told I my choice of music was archaic (that one could be true).  So, I stopped. I don't remember giving up. I just quit one day.   I didn't leave because it was time to go, I just left.  

Recently, I was asked why I had stopped blogging and would I continue? At the time, I remember making the comparison (yes, in my adult mind) to Marvin.  I was like Marvin; the time had come, so I went.  I had said my piece and I was no longer a blogger.  But, I was left questioning my rational - was I really like Marvin?  Is that even a legitimate comparison? 

Well, I am back.  Maybe the time hasn't come, or maybe I am not like Marvin.  As, I begin to write again, I now have two  more questions to answer.  1. Why did I stop?   2. Why did I come back?   More on that in the next post.... because the time has come .... for today. 

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." 
Ecc. 3:1

Only Me, on My Knees...

As I was posting items to Etsy, I was listening to random youtube music videos, when the playlist began to play "Holy" by Nichole Nordeman from the WOW 2003 Hits.  Can you believe how long ago that was?  I can't, I truly can't.  

Her voice brought so many memories flooding back, I remember sitting staring out my bedroom window, the pink flowered wallpaper contrasted the deep green foliage of the beautiful wild garden below.  I contemplating the lyrics, appreciating her perspective.

Today, I was arrested by one line "and all you wanted - only me, on my knees..."  she said "singing", I thought "praying".   Lost on the rabbit trails of my mind, I missed the remainder of the song to simply re-hear "somehow, all that matters now is ... you... and all you ever wanted, only me on my knees."

I realized that is what He wants.  He wants us to petition Him, to ask of Him, to kneel before Him in thanksgiving.  Do we really take prayer seriously?  How easy it is to forget!

Sweet hour of prayer!...That calls me from a world of care,

...In seasons of distress and grief, My soul has often found relief..

And oft escaped the tempter’s snare...with such I hasten to the place

Where God my Savior shows His face....And since He bids me seek His face,

...I’ll cast on Him my every care,

Untill,...I view my home and take my flight...And shout, while passing through the air, “Farewell, farewell, sweet hour of prayer!”

As Death Gives way to Victory

"...I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives!"

Today, I was reading through the Daily Mail when I saw, and read, the most tragic report on Iraq.  The headline read "ISIS executes 19 girls for refusing to have sex with fighters."  I wanted to turn away, I wanted to close my eyes - I didn't want to read it. 

(read article here)

Yet, I couldn't turn a blind eye.

The article didn't specify how many, if any, of these girls were Christians, but the price list for buying a girl for such purposes, specifically mentions Christians.  I thought about those poor girls, so scared, so sickened, so alone.  I hope they all knew Christ as their Saviour.  Those who did are already with their Lord, their tears and sorrows have vanished, they are no longer dressed in earthly white robes, but in heavenly ones.  No one can touch them there.   

When I finished the article, I thought of the line of the hymn "As death gives way to Victory."  For those who are Christians, their death has turned to victory.  A Victory that ISIS can never comprehend.  A Victory that can never be lost.  

God sent His son, they called Him, Jesus;

He came to love, heal and forgive;

He lived and died to buy my pardon,

An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!

Chorus

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,

Because He lives, all fear is gone;

Because I know He holds the future,

And life is worth the living,

Just because He lives!

And then one day, I'll cross the river,

I'll fight life's final war with pain;

And then, as death gives way to victory,

I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives!

This Side of the Looking Glass

So many times, as a single woman, you ask yourself if you really know your purpose in life.   For me, those early foggy fall mornings on the way to work envelope me with questions of identity and purpose.  Is life really about getting married?  Does it bring fulfillment different then what I have now?  Is that what my true purpose is?  But what if I never marry...I most likely won't... should I go work at an orphanage?  Why do we always think orphanage?  I just don't want to be a lonely, bitter, aimless old lady.

***

My thoughts drifted to my closest guy friend.  He was the closest thing to a best friend I could imagine in a guy. We could talk. Pretty much about anything.  Recently, it had become increasingly different.  Little things, nothing too spectacular, just a closeness that wasn't there before. He started to like me in a different way, or maybe he always had.  I too had been changing, or noticing change, I don't know.  Did I like him?  Maybe. Yes.  I loved him in someway, but I wasn't planning on this.  Was this right? 

***

The rain was very fitting.  Streams of silver droplets poured down my windshield, side mirror, and even when I looked at the pavement, the red reflection of the stop light shone ugly on the dank, dark, slimy tarmac.  I sighed.  Yes, the rain was very fitting.  It was crying for me.  Crying instead of me.  I couldn't cry, I was too tired.  Too weary.  Just dull inside.  Was I grieving? No, not really.  Depressed really.  I didn't have anything to cry about and I knew it.  He had asked to make it more serious, and changed his mind.  It was over.  I laughed softly, almost bitterly, to myself.  Whatever it was.  Somehow, I knew we were still friends, but now forever at a distance.  

Why had I gotten myself into this? Why did I let this happen?  What I am to do now? What does life hold?  The orphanage seemed far away and yet somehow maybe the only road.  Tibet. Tibet was far. 

Now, why in the world - Tibet?  I asked myself.  And realized it wasn't Tibet, Nigeria, or overseas that lay on my heart - it was my own selfish wish to ease an ache that clung to my heart and cried out to my brain.  I could hear it's pitiful wail - "I'm broken! Broken in two! Pity with me, for no one can fix this now."  

No, I said to my miserable heart, You are not broken. Maybe bruised, definitely tired, but not broken. Besides, I knew that God is the healer of the broken in heart, and He is only one and He was in control.  Since the beginning of my friendship (years), I had been praying - calling out to God to direct, stop, or help, whichever it was we needed.  This I knew. God was in control and it was the only thing I could cling to. 

***

To be continued.....

I am contemplating writing a book, but am not sure exactly how to start, so I think I will draw on my own experiences, and maybe work in the details of my heritage and past that is full of strange little stories, real heart breaks, mystery, and of course romance.  And here I have decided to practice. 

Maybe, I will indeed be able to write and finish writing this book:

_____________________________________

title to be determinded

Summer fun with Isabel :)

Isabel came for a week (we both look forward to when she can visit for another week!), these are the only two pictures I remembered to take.   Isn't it a fun looking party?  We had marble foot massages in the kiddie pool and ate random stuff for lunch. The week was full of dollar-store-runs and crafts - oh and not to forget, TONS of How To Train Your Dragon 1 & 2 and tv episodes. :)  Needless to say, "Gronkle" was repeatedly floating around my head.....my vocabulary was a little sad....but we had fun!